Really?

Pat has decided that he is going to get in better shape. With that in mind he went out Saturday morning and purchased a jump rope. That is a fun way to get in shape right? His purchasing a jump rope is not what I found hilarious...but these "Important Precautions" that came with it are. I just had to share! Hopefully you will find it as amusing as we did.
1. Before beginning any exercise program consult with your physician. This is especially important for persons over age 35 (he is 57)...
2. It is the responsibility of the owner to ensure that all users of this product are adequately informed of all precautions.
3. This product is intended for home use only. Do not use this product in a commercial, rental, or institutional setting.
4. This product should be used only as described in this guide. This product is intended to be used only as an exercise device.
5. This product is not a toy. This product is intended to be used only by persons age 14 and older.
6. Keep children under age 14 and pets away from this product.
7. Inspect this product before each use. Do not use this product or attempt to repair it if it is damaged.
8. Always wear eye protection (really?) while using this product.
9. Use this product only on a level, non-slip surface. Make sure that there is adequate clearance above and around the user.
10. Over exercising may result in serious injury or death. If you feel faint or if you experience pain while exercising, stop immediately and cool down.

There you have it. All I can say is I'm so glad these instructions weren't around when I was young and enjoying jump roping on the playground with my friends! Amazing what the world has come to, isn't it? Kids under age 14 will never know the joys of jump roping if anyone ever follows these instructions!